No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have fence marks all over my body
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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