My first STD was from a foam party
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize