are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
