Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I am available for nakedness
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
