Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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