We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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