super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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