we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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