he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
