I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
