Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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