Barsexuality is the new black.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize