On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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