It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize