He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
