Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
they need to just BURY HIM!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
