He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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