He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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