No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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