I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
