did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
