I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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