My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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