I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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