is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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