When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
