We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
