Need sex. Gaining weight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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