So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
