Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
