Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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