just tell him i said nine months
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
