No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
