I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
