Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
