i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
