He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
