i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
cat food counts as protein by the way
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
