Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Boobs are out for the taking
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
