I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There are leaves in my underwear?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
