I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just had sex on a roof
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
