There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize