We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I need to calm my uterus...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
