Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
