Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
