I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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