Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
