Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
