Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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