Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
