found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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