Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
