Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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