Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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