did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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