I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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