Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
