whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
