You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
